Letters from Adina - #12

Letter XII. John seeks out Jesus in the Wilderness

The Three Temptations of the Christ

My Dear Father,

Let me resume the matter of which my letters have been so full; moreover, as you have desired me still to keep you informed of all that done touching Jesus of Nazareth, and as no theme upon which I can write is so pleasing to me, I will narrate all that I have heard since I last wrote to you.

It is now eight weeks since we returned from Gilgal. For five weeks after we reached Jerusalem, we heard nothing of Jesus until John, son of Eliasaph, reappeared. He and Lazarus entered the city together, and came to the house of Rabbi Amos.

Our first inquiry was:

“Have you seen Him? Have you any tidings of Him?’’‘‘John has seen Him,’’ answered Lazarus seriously; “ask him and he will tell you all.”’

We looked at John, who sat sad and pensive, as if he were revolving in his mind upon some painful, yet tender sorrow. The eyes of my cousin Mary, which always caught their lustre from his, were shaded with an anxious look of sympathy and solicitude.

“You are not well,’’ she said, placing her fair hand upon his white brow, and putting back the hair from his temples. ‘You have been long away, and are weary and weak.” “Weary, Mary? I shall never complain of weariness again, after what I have beheld.”’

‘‘What have you seen?’’ I asked.

“Jesus in the desert; and when I remember him there, I shall forget to smile.”

‘‘You found him, then?’’ I eagerly asked.

“Yes, after days of painful search I found him in the very centre of the desert of Ashes, where foot of man had never trod before. I saw Him upon His knees, and heard His voice in prayer. I laid down the sack of bread and fishes, and the skin of water I had brought with me to succor him, and with awe drew near where He stood.”

“How did you find him there?’’ I asked, for I was eager to hear all.“By his footsteps in the sand and ashes. I saw where He where He had been kneeling, and where two nights He reposed upon the ground. I expected to find him dead, but each day I discovered his progressing footsteps, and followed them. . As I now drew near him, I heard him groan in spirit, and He seemed to be borne down to the earth by some mortal agony. He appeared to be talking to some invisible beings who assailed Him.”

‘‘Rabbi, good Master, I said, I have brought thee food and water, Pardon me if I have broken in upon Thine awful loneliness, which is sacred to some deep grief; but I weep with Thee for Thy woes, and in all Thy afflictions I am afflicted. Eat, that Thou mayst have strength to endure Thy mysterious sufferings.”

‘‘He turned His pale countenance full upon me, and extended towards me His emaciated hands, while He smiled faintly, and blessed me, and said:  

“Son, thou art very dear to me. Thou shalt one day be afflicted for me, but not now, and then thou shalt understand wherefore I am now a sufferer in the desert.’

‘‘Let me remain with thee, Divine Messias,” I said.“Thou believest, then, that I am He?” He answered, looking on me with eyes of love.

‘‘I replied by casting myself at his toil-worn feet, and bathing them with my tears. He raised me up, and said, “Go thy way now. When the time of my fasting and temptation is past, I will see thee again.”

“Nay, I will not leave thee,” I declared.“If thou lovest me, Beloved, thou wilt obey me,” He answered, in a tone of gentle re-proof.

“But thou wilt first eat of the bread I have brought, and drink of the water?” I entreated.

“Thou knowest not what thou art offering to me,” he replied, sadly. “Thou hast not enough for thine own needs. Go, and leave me to gain the victory over Satan, the prince of this world, to be tempted of whom I was led by the Spirit hither!”

‘‘I once more cast myself at His feet, and He lifted me up, kissed me; and sent me away.

Oh, you would not have known Him! Worn and emaciated by long abstinence, weak through suffering, He looked but the shadow of Himself. He could not have lived thus if there had not been a divine power within to sustain Him. His existence so long, for He had been in the desert five weeks without food, when I found Him, was a miracle in itself, proving the power of God to be in Him.”  

“For what mighty work among men is God preparing him?” said Rabbi Amos, solemnly. ‘‘Surely He is a Prophet come from God.”

“Think you He still lives?” I asked, with anxious fear, scarce trusting my voice above a Whisper.

“Yes” answered John; ‘‘I am come to tell you He was sustained through all; and after forty days He came forth from the wilderness, and suddenly presented himself on the banks of Jordan, among John’s disciples. I was standing near the Baptist, discoursing of the Christ, and marvelling when His exile to the desert would terminate, when the prophet, lifting up his eyes, cried with a loud voice full of joy -

“Behold again the Lamb of God upon whom the Spirit descended! He hath come forth from the furnace, like gold seven times tried in the fire! He it is who alone taketh away the sins of the world.”

“I turned, and beheld Jesus advancing. He was pale, and wore on his benign countenance an expression of gentle, uncomplaining suffering.

His calm, dignified aspect, the serenity and peace of His looks, awed me, while they caused me to love Him.

I hastened to meet him, and was kneeling in joy at his feet, when He embraced me as a brother, and said, “Faithful, and full of love, wilt thou follow me?”

“I will never leave Thee,” I answered.

“Where dwellest Thou, divine Master?” then asked one’ of John’s disciples, Andrew by name, who was with me. “Come, my friends, and see,” He answered; and we went after him with joy unutterable.

“What passed between him and the Baptist” asked Rabbi Amos, ‘‘at this meeting on the river side?”

“Not a word. They met and parted like strangers, John going away across Jordan into the wilderness, as Jesus entered the village of Bethabara; and, approaching the house of a widow, where he dwelt, He went in, and we followed him, and by His request, took up our abode with him.”

“Oh, how shall I be able to make known by words,’’ added John, ‘‘the sweetness of his discourse? In one day, in His presence, I grew wise; His words filled my soul like new wine, and made my heart glad.

The next day, He wished to go into Galilee, and so on to Nazareth, where his mother dwelleth; and, as I am resolved to follow him as his disciple henceforth, I am only come hither to make known my purpose to Mary, to set my house in order in the city. To-morrow I leave again to join my dear Lord, at Cana of Galilee.’’

“Oh, happy, and to be enviable, friend and brother,” said Lazarus. ‘‘How gladly would I go also, and be one of his disciples! But the care of my mother and sisters cometh upon me, and I must deny myself the happiness of being for ever near this Divine Man, and listening to the heavenly wisdom that flows from His lips.”

“How blind I have been, that I discovered not the Messias under his gentle and loving character, and unobstrusive wisdom. Truly, he was among us, and we knew Him not.’’

‘‘Canst thou divine at all His purpose,’’ asked Rabbi Amos of John, ‘‘whether he intends to found a school of wisdom, to preach like the prophets preached, to reign like David, or to conquer like Joshua his warrior of old?’’

‘‘I know not, save, that He said He came to redeem that which was lost, and to establish a kingdom that shall have no end!’’

When we all heard this, all our hearts bounded with hope and confidence in Him, and we: all with one accord burst forth into a voice of joy and thanksgiving, and sang a hymn of praise.

Rabbi Amos informed us that the Procurator had heard by a messenger that morning that Jesus on His way to Cana had been followed by full a thousand people, who, having recognized Him as the baptised of John in Jordan, hailed Him as the Christ.  

Thus, you see, my dear father, that this Divine Leader is already taking hold on the hearts of the people, and arousing the jealousy of our enemies. Be assured that the day will come when He will lift up His standard to the Gentiles, and draw all men unto Him.

The signs of his power are increasing daily; and although He has yet performed no such miracle as would be deemed by you a test of His divine mission, yet I have doubt not that in due time He will give this proof, and all other needful manifestations, that He is the Christ of God.

Your loving

Adina.

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